1
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Hey, how's it going, judge?
2
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What about that Jets game on Sunday, huh?
3
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Did you see it?
4
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,410
Now, that is what I call
5
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one heck of a game.
6
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You look a little bit thinner.
7
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,810
You been working out?
8
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I guess you noticed, huh?
9
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The elevator's busted.
10
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It was working perfectly one minute.
11
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I turn around, bang, it's dead.
12
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Everybody started using
13
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the freight elevator.
14
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I mean, what are people supposed to do,
15
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walk up 18 flights of stairs?
16
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I did it. I got them.
17
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I got them, I got them, I got them!
18
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I got them, I got them, I got them.
19
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Guess whose concert I got tickets to
20
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Saturday night.
21
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Oh, boy, charades.
22
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How many syllables?
23
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Eddie Devon.
24
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You're not very good at this.
25
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Hi, guys.
26
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You will never guess what I just did.
27
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How did you get up here?
28
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Took the freight elevator
29
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just like everybody else.
30
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I heard some jerk
31
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actually walked up all 18 flights.
32
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Your Honor, look.
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Miss Sullivan, look.
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- You too?
35
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- Uh-huh.
36
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Two tickets to the grand opening
37
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of the petting zoo in Central Park.
38
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You camped out all night for those,
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didn't you?
40
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Your Honor,
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these are Eddie Devon tickets.
42
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- Wow!
43
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- Yeah.
44
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Who's Eddie Devon?
45
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He's a rock 'n' roll star, sir.
46
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Oh, I don't keep up with that, Mac.
47
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You know that.
48
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Flo and I,
49
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we're into the old-timers, right, Flo?
50
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Sinatra, Tormé, right?
51
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Eddie has brown hair, green eyes,
52
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and 17 gold singles.
53
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His last LP went platinum in a week...
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...and he just kicked off
55
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a 28-city concert tour.
56
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I would've had the best view of him
57
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at Woodstock...
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...but they made me climb down
59
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from the light tower.
60
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Why?
61
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Some nonsense about wearing clothes.
62
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- What the hell was that?
63
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- I don't know.
64
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But whatever it was, I hope nobody
65
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was in the hall when it went through.
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Now, wait. That's private stuff.
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Get over there.
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Oh, my God.
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People, people, people.
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If that is what you indeed are.
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Sit down!
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Counsels.
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Will someone please tell me
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what the hell is going on around here?
75
00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:16,780
Yes, Your Honor. There was a last-minute
76
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cancellation of the Eddie Devon concert.
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His fans started chanting,
78
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"Up with famine."
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00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:28,060
Well, that is extreme behavior,
80
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but in light of the announced cancellation--
81
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That was before
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the announced cancellation.
83
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And then after,
84
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I suppose things got a little out of hand?
85
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Luckily, the ritual human sacrifice
86
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was nipped in the bud.
87
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All right. Right this way.
88
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Right down the aisle here. Thank you.
89
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Come right this way. Thank you. Good.
90
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:50,450
Sir, Eddie Devon's here.
91
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He's here?
92
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Oh, my God! I don't believe it!
93
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This is unreal!
94
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I mean, what an interesting development.
95
00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:10,470
Uh, Mr. Devon was assaulted by a promoter
96
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after he froze on-stage.
97
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Here's the arrest report.
98
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,240
Bull, why are you wearing that thing?
99
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Oh, uh, some fans found out
100
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I was escorting Mr. Devon...
101
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...and I wanted to throw them
102
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off our trail.
103
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I figured a disguise would help.
104
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You recognized me right away,
105
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didn't you?
106
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What do you expect
107
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from a man who keeps thumbtacks as pets?
108
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Excuse me. Uh, can somebody
109
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tell me where Mr. Devon is?
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Yes. I can answer that.
111
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- You are...?
112
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- Hi. Dr. Charles Melnick.
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I'm Eddie's psychiatrist
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and personal spokesman.
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- Where is he?
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- He's here. He's in this room.
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- Can I see him?
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- He has no comment.
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- A statement will be issued on this incident.
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- I would just like--
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It's my belief that Eddie froze on-stage...
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...as a result of his latent performance
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anxiety, which has been heightened...
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...by his growing concern
125
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over the plight of the whales.
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- Your Honor.
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- Yes, Miss Sullivan?
128
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He's under my table.
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- What is he, nuts?
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- Of course not.
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But a personal appearance in this courtroom
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is simply out of the question.
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Well, fine. Then he can make
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a personal appearance in my office.
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Fifteen-minute recess.
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I hope that you're capable of treating him
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with the kind of respect and sensitivity...
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...that this calls for.
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Here, boy. Here, Eddie.
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Come on, boy. Here, boy.
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- Good. Good.
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- I'll put some newspaper down on my rug.
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Hi.
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- I'm Willy.
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- I'm Wally.
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I'm woozy.
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We're looking for Eddie Devon.
148
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- We'd do anything--
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- Anything.
150
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--to get close to him.
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What do you do?
152
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:10,450
Oh, I'm an assistant district...
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...sales rep for Eddie's record company.
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Ooh.
155
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Once more.
156
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Ooh.
157
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Forget about the lottery.
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Give me this one.
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No, captain, no. I would not classify this
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as a possible crowd-control problem, no.
161
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I would call a thousand screaming fans
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burning me in effigy...
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...an existing crowd-control problem.
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Yes, so please do what you can. Mm-hm.
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00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,060
Hold on.
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- Come on in.
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- Go on. Go on. Go on in, Eddie.
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Eddie, nobody's gonna hurt you.
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That's right. Now sit.
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Good boy. Ha, ha.
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00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,610
Hi, Eddie.
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00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:05,310
- Hi.
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00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:05,310
- Doc, I'd like to see Eddie alone...
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- ...for a couple of minutes.
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- Absolutely not.
176
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Eddie's used to my constant presence
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as a support mechanism.
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- You did say he was all right.
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- Absolutely.
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- Fine. Get out.
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- Judge.
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00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,690
Do you understand the phrase
183
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,690
"separation anxiety"?
184
00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:22,730
Yeah. Do you understand the phrase
185
00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:22,730
"contempt of court"?
186
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,390
Relax, Eddie. It'll be fun.
187
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,170
Don't mention the word "womb."
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Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
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Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
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00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:41,110
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie....
191
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:46,590
- It's been a rough tour, eh, Eddie?
192
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:46,590
- They ripped my hair out in Philadelphia.
193
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,990
Oh, they do that to everybody.
194
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,960
And in Cleveland,
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00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,960
they sold pieces of my shirt.
196
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,120
Yeah, I've heard about
197
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,120
rock fans doing that.
198
00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:57,030
I was still wearing it.
199
00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,230
How long you been on tour, Eddie?
200
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,200
Oh....
201
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:05,500
- Few nights.
202
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:05,500
- Quick, what year is it?
203
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,430
'80-something.
204
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:14,300
It's '85. Reagan is president.
205
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,790
The actor?
206
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:22,660
It's a long story.
207
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,460
So that's it?
208
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,460
You're only interested in musicians?
209
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:32,230
- That and music.
210
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:32,230
- We love music.
211
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,590
We've got
212
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,590
some of the best speakers in town.
213
00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:42,400
A really great pair.
214
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,740
Mm....
215
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:47,280
Stereo.
216
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:50,280
Yeah, well, mono's for squares.
217
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,220
Hey, guys.
218
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:55,450
- Where is he?
219
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:55,450
Who, Eddie? Oh, I sent him out.
220
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,920
- You wha--? You sent him out?
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00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,920
- Alone?
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00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:00,220
Sure. Sent him to the zoo.
223
00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:00,220
What's the big deal?
224
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,090
The big deal? He's got
225
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,090
the survival instincts of a cabbage!
226
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:05,230
That's what's the big deal.
227
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,300
Aren't we exaggerating a little bit, doc?
228
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:10,960
Sir, don't you ever read
229
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:10,960
Tiger Beat magazine?
230
00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:14,770
No, I let my subscription lapse.
231
00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:19,510
Eddie Devon hasn't been out in public
232
00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:19,510
alone in six years.
233
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:28,580
Then you're saying I sent a defenseless,
234
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:28,580
trusting human being into Central Park...
235
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,590
...at night, alone?
236
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,090
Does the word "oops" come to mind?
237
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,830
Fifty-dollar fine and time served.
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00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,830
Flo. Bull.
239
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:46,870
- How many more have we got, Mac?
240
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:46,870
- Minus the last four, 3000.
241
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,970
Recess.
242
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:53,440
It's been over four hours, Judge Stone.
243
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,380
I've sent out private detectives.
244
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,380
No trace of him.
245
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:59,680
Oh, I'm sure he'll show up
246
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:59,680
somewhere, eventually.
247
00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:04,620
- Thank you, Miss Sullivan.
248
00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:04,620
- In a lake. In a riverbed.
249
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,060
- Thank you, Miss Sullivan.
250
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,060
- She's right.
251
00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:09,790
I know for a fact
252
00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:09,790
that something unspeakably horrible...
253
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,830
...has already happened to him.
254
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,500
Maybe it's the same thing that happened
255
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,500
to his bass player at that party.
256
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:19,770
- What happened?
257
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:19,770
- He choked on his tongue.
258
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:25,540
He choked on his own tongue?
259
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:28,410
Now, wait a minute. That's right.
260
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:32,920
They never were able to verify
261
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:32,920
whose tongue it was.
262
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,720
I feel great.
263
00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:43,220
Why, look who's here.
264
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,230
Eddie. You're okay.
265
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,890
- I feel great.
266
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,890
- Hey, uh-- Where were you?
267
00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:54,010
- The zoo. I touched a goat.
268
00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:54,010
- That's how I got started.
269
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,510
You should've seen it, Dr. Melnick.
270
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,510
People didn't even recognize me.
271
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:05,620
One guy even came up to me
272
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:05,620
and said, "Watch it, scum face." Ha, ha.
273
00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:08,880
Oh, how beautiful.
274
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:10,720
Eddie, Eddie.
275
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:13,620
This is just the way it started
276
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:13,620
the last time.
277
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,860
- Just the way what started?
278
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,860
- He doubted me...
279
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:19,360
...only for a few minutes,
280
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:19,360
in the spring of 1981.
281
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,970
But we got through that one together,
282
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,970
didn't we, Eddie?
283
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:26,970
Wait a minute. Are you saying that
284
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:26,970
his going to the petting zoo was wrong?
285
00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,510
- I'm confused.
286
00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,510
- So am I.
287
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,740
Come on, Eddie. We're going home.
288
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,740
We'll cancel the tour. We'll--
289
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,410
We'll go sit in the sand.
290
00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:36,350
If what I did was wrong...
291
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,680
...if how I felt was wrong,
292
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,680
then what's the point?
293
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,150
- We'll talk about this outside.
294
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,150
- Don't touch me.
295
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,990
- Eddie.
296
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,990
- Don't talk to me.
297
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,160
Nobody talk to me.
298
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,430
- Thank you.
299
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,430
- Doctor.
300
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,230
That man is obviously exhausted.
301
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,230
He just needs some time to himself.
302
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,170
Are you crazy?
303
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,170
The man is obviously crumbling.
304
00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:00,930
He's on the verge of regressing...
305
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,870
...into a dangerously unstable phase
306
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,870
of his early childhood.
307
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,310
Doctor, you're the one
308
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,310
who's being childish.
309
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,250
I am a licensed psychotherapist.
310
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,250
I am never childish.
311
00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,620
That Devon guy's ready
312
00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,620
to throw himself down the elevator shaft.
313
00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,310
Na-na-na na-na
314
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,330
Everybody just keep back.
315
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,760
I'm not fooling around here.
316
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,200
- Do what he says, people.
317
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,200
Shh, shh....
318
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:32,600
Eddie. Eddie. Hey.
319
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:37,610
Let's just take
320
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:37,610
a few deep breaths here, okay?
321
00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:47,380
Well?
322
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,990
I feel much better. Thanks.
323
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,720
- Doc.
324
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,720
- Eddie.
325
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,960
You're a very sick man.
326
00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:59,730
Doc, I just took a walk. I went out.
327
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,630
I talked to a bag lady.
328
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,640
I felt as free as I've ever felt
329
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,640
in my entire life...
330
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,400
...and you're telling me I'm sick?
331
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,010
Yes.
332
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,010
- Nice meeting you all.
333
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,010
Eddie.
334
00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:15,210
Suicide is crazy.
335
00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:24,520
You've done this before, haven't you?
336
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:28,650
Eddie, she's right. This is no answer.
337
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,630
I know.
338
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:33,060
I don't wanna jump.
339
00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:36,760
Somebody, please,
340
00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:36,760
tell me what to do here.
341
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,340
If you could just make this out
342
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,340
to June and Butch.
343
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,240
Grandma and Grandpa. They love him.
344
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:52,080
Look, now, for your information...
345
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,150
...I take this subject very seriously.
346
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,520
All I'm wondering
347
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,520
is if we could get together...
348
00:14:56,690 --> 00:15:00,690
...and discuss the various relationships
349
00:14:56,690 --> 00:15:00,690
you've had with your musical idols.
350
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,260
I happen to be working toward
351
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,260
my Ph.D. in sociology...
352
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:08,630
...and the subject of early tribal chants...
353
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,600
...and rhythms...
354
00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:16,800
...and their symbiotic relationships
355
00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:16,800
to both the male and female libidos...
356
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:19,410
...is directly related to my thesis.
357
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:22,350
Sounds great.
358
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,490
Fine. Say the Astro Motel
359
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,490
around midnight?
360
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:28,050
- Oh, we can't.
361
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:28,050
- Not tonight.
362
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,020
We've already got a date.
363
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,850
With him.
364
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:43,600
Hi-ya.
365
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,540
Now, what has he got that I don't have?
366
00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:50,010
He's got one of those.
367
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,210
See you at midnight.
368
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:03,480
Sure thing, kids.
369
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,160
Bye.
370
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,190
Edward.
371
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,510
I am very cross with you.
372
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,070
Tough tepees.
373
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,350
Oh, boy. Mister Rogers gets obscene.
374
00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:30,380
What did you say to me?
375
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:36,650
- Nothing, doc. I'm sorry.
376
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:36,650
- Let's go home, Eddie, now.
377
00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,590
- All right.
378
00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,590
- That's it? You're giving in just like that?
379
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,530
- You're gonna do what he wants?
380
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,530
- Christine, he saved the man's life.
381
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,870
Yeah, well,
382
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,870
why don't I just shut up, then?
383
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:54,070
Congratulations, doc.
384
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:54,070
You saved the man's life.
385
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,700
- Of course, what kind of life is it, Eddie?
386
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,700
- Well, it....
387
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,100
Well, tell him.
388
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,840
He needs structure in his life.
389
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,840
I provide that.
390
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,580
- For a hefty fee.
391
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,580
- Hey.
392
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:07,380
You can't get good psychological therapy
393
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:07,380
at Kmart, fella.
394
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,190
Eddie, isn't there anything you miss?
395
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,290
Isn't there something you wanted to do,
396
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,290
and he wouldn't let you?
397
00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:15,050
Well, I...
398
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,360
...would've liked to have gone
399
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,360
to my high school reunion.
400
00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:21,970
Do you know what kind of diseases
401
00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:21,970
there are in a gymnasium?
402
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:25,440
Several were named after me.
403
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:30,340
I would've liked to have gone
404
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:30,340
to my father's funeral.
405
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:33,570
You weren't allowed
406
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:33,570
to go to your father's funeral?
407
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:38,750
Do you know how depressing
408
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:38,750
those things are?
409
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,790
Eddie, I'm not much of a psychologist...
410
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,090
...but I'd bet that you'd have a better shot
411
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,090
with Doc Severinsen than with this clown.
412
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:48,750
Listen, judge,
413
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:48,750
you're treading on very thin ice here.
414
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,260
Harry, I know you're trying to help,
415
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,260
but you're wrong about Dr. Melnick.
416
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:54,530
He's not with me just for the money.
417
00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:58,070
And I'll prove it.
418
00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:00,210
- How?
419
00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:00,210
- Uh--
420
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,900
How?
421
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:04,870
I'll give away everything I own.
422
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:07,870
I better go lock up Dan.
423
00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:11,110
- No, Eddie, that wasn't--
424
00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:11,110
- Come on, let's go.
425
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,020
- No, Eddie. What I meant was--
426
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,020
- Eddie.
427
00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:16,820
Creating monsters is your hobby, isn't it?
428
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:24,660
Hey, you. You like jewelry?
429
00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:27,770
Here. This one's got a 2-karat emerald.
430
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,340
I'd hold out for 60 grand.
431
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:34,030
Okay, everybody, whoever wants it,
432
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:34,030
cash, stocks, bonds...
433
00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:37,370
...I'll be in the courtroom giving it away.
434
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:47,460
This makes up for the twins.
435
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,860
Okay. I got a shopping center.
436
00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:54,360
Me. Me.
437
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:55,690
It's in Milwaukee.
438
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,470
Eddie, come on.
439
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,970
Aren't we tired of playing
440
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,970
this silly little game?
441
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:08,970
Monopoly is a game.
442
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:08,970
He's giving away the whole enchilada.
443
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,970
Oh, heh.
444
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:19,780
Mr. Fielding,
445
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:19,780
I've got something for you.
446
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,680
This is a 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special
447
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,680
with twin pickups.
448
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,760
There are only 12 of these
449
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,760
that were made.
450
00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:32,990
It was a gift to me on my 16th birthday
451
00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:32,990
from my father.
452
00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:39,370
His only wish in life was to see his son
453
00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:39,370
succeed at his first love: music.
454
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,710
I want you to have this.
455
00:19:48,950 --> 00:19:52,010
I'm.... I don't know what to say.
456
00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:54,520
I'm honored.
457
00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:57,820
I'll always be grateful. Thank you.
458
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:02,090
Have this appraised.
459
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,360
This is just getting ridiculous.
460
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,360
He just wants my attention.
461
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:13,970
Okay, I got a Caribbean island.
462
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,940
That's mine!
463
00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:17,980
You promised.
464
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,880
They were right.
465
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,350
You lied to me.
466
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,750
You've been lying to me for 10 years.
467
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,380
It doesn't matter anymore. You figured
468
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,380
him out, and that's what counts.
469
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,290
He said he cared about me.
470
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:37,560
He said that, one day, I'd be all right.
471
00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:40,100
Well, I'm not all right, doc.
472
00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:43,030
- And I'm gonna make you pay for it.
473
00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:43,030
- Eddie, wait.
474
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,800
Oh, great! Bad publicity.
475
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:48,430
You know they've been talking series
476
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:48,430
with me and Joyce Brothers?
477
00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:54,140
Eddie, please don't do it!
478
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,370
I have to, Harry.
479
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,480
Well, thanks for everything, Dr. Melnick.
480
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,630
Eddie, sweetheart,
481
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,630
you've got so much to live for.
482
00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:07,890
- But I gave it all away.
483
00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:07,890
- Oh, yeah, right.
484
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:12,330
So you live with this, you scum.
485
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,870
Surprise.
486
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,980
I'm standing on top of the elevator.
487
00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:32,850
I want you dead.
488
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:34,710
But why?
489
00:21:34,890 --> 00:21:37,480
You said I have so much to live for.
490
00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:39,960
Well, what do you think, guys?
491
00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:39,960
My first joke.
492
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:42,690
Ha, ha.
493
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:42,690
- It killed me.
494
00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:46,400
Thanks for everything, guys.
495
00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:51,560
Now if you'll excuse me,
496
00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:51,560
I have a few zoos to check out.
497
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,440
Oh, by the way, Dr. Melnick...
498
00:21:55,810 --> 00:21:58,140
...I kept all the Swiss bank accounts.
499
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,610
I mean, I may be stupid...
500
00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:03,310
...but I'm not crazy.
501
00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:16,690
Hi, Dan.
502
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,360
Well, if it isn't Count Basie.
503
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:26,240
How'd you enjoy your evening
504
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:26,240
with the twins?
505
00:22:26,410 --> 00:22:27,670
I wrote a poem about it.
506
00:22:33,150 --> 00:22:35,340
This is volume one.
507
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,860
"'The Azzari Sisters:
508
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,860
An Adventure in Verse.'
509
00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:49,430
By Bull Shannon."
510
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:56,490
Double your pleasure
511
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:56,490
Double your fun
512
00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:01,440
I used to have yearnings
513
00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:01,440
And now I got none
514
00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:08,480
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
515
00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:10,980
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
516
00:23:11,150 --> 00:23:13,350
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
517
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,850
- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
518
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,850
- Mel, Mel, Mel.
519
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:20,020
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
520
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:20,020
- Mel, Mel, Mel.